Rabbits are Road kill
by Lolita in Wonderland
Summary: Set a few years after the end of Furuba, Momiji is struggling to keep his happy façade alive, even after the rest of his family has left him behind. Spoiler warning, do not read if you don’t want to know the latest chapters in the manga. Rated for latter


I have always alone.

You might think I'm being dramatic, and if you have ever met me, you would bet that I was.

But what I say now, I don't say out of sorrow, loneliness or even hate; it is just a simple fact. I have always been alone; and, I think at times I was meant to be.

I don't mean to say that I've never had friends, or that my family shunned me. In fact, I was born into the closest family in history. Not emotionally, or even physically close. No, this feeling, this union with them- it was a bond deeper than words. It was a feeling unlike another, something, only a select few would ever encounter.

This feeling…it was.

But that's just it.

Was.

I didn't know, not until some years latter, that I was the second one to break the bond us zodiacs had with our master, our 'God' Akito. Kureno was the first, and Hiro fallowed not long after me. I don't even know how or why it happened- and before, if you had asked anyone of us, we were begging to be relieved from the vengeful sprits we were born under. Some more then others; one more than the rest.

But when the chains around my soul bent, and that part of me drifted away, an emotion washed over me that I never thought possible.

And I cried.

I cried, for Akito- for my family and for myself. I didn't tell the others, and even now, the only one who knows I was broken before the rest is Akito herself. We were all freed, one by one, until the blood bonds between us vanished completely. I still remember the meeting Akito held in her house that day. Everyone together, save Shigure, for the first time since the curse was lifted. Even the cat.

She apologized to us all, a woman for the first time in our eyes, and I don't think any of us could hold a grudge against her even if we tried.

I knew from the start things would never be the same. It was a good thing, not a bad thing, but I still couldn't help feeling sad. It took me a few months to weave the mask of happiness back together and seal it over my face, the mask I had constructed and worn since I was a child, the one my mother had given me as a parting gift.

I've always been alone, but, I have never felt so alone-so incredibly lonely, as I have these past years.

The family still gets together every New Year, with a few extra invites to bring to the table. Each zodiac sitting in the same place as always, and this time, even the cat has a seat. It's the seat across from Yuki, on the left side of God, the seat Honda Tohru sits next, and Machi across form her. Yep. Things sure have changed for the better, and the table sure has gotten a lot more crowded.

Everyone brought a certain someone special to this past New Years, everyone but me.

Ayame was the first to spring up the steps and whisk Mine thru the door, parading her proudly thru the hall to meet Shigure and Akito formally. Mine, of course, jumped at the chance to make a 'special wardrobe' for Akito much to Shigure's approval and Akito's dismay. Hatori showed up with Maya-sensei, no thanks to Shigure's intervention, and Akito made it a point to be extraordinarily kind to them both. I don't think she really got over what she didn't to Tori, emotionally or physically, even if Tori didn't blame her for what had happened to Kana-kun.

Hiro and Kisa arrived together, officially, and took a place across from Ritsu-Chan and his guest. I was just as surprised as anyone at how calm Ritsu was the entire night, considering that A: he was Ritsu and B: his 'guest' was a man. It was obvious that the two were more than friends, and Tohru was the first one to greet them openly about it, surprise, surprise. Hatsuharu and Rin were the last to join. Rin's hair was long enough to tie back now, and she had taken the time to wear it in pig tails, just for that night. It made Tohru very happy.

I already mentioned Tohru and Machi, this was the second attendance and they were getting along very well as time went on, much to Yuki and possibly Kyo's delight. Yuki, Tohru and Kyo had graduated, leaving Haru and me at the old school as seniors as of this year. The fan club just about died after there prince left, but somehow they survived, and have a new name- the sun flower brigade, or was it sunny bunny club? Something strange to that effect anyway. I was asked to be the new school president, but refused both times. I leave that to Haru, who is doing a great job on driving everyone crazy with this mood swings and odd-ball ideas for school functions. I really like working with him.

Looking around the banquette table that night, I felt the same sense of loneliness and misery wash over me as it did the day I broke the cruse. I used to wonder, if maybe, being released before the others had somehow hindered me. I sat there, between Hatsuharu and Ritsu-Chan's koibito, staring at the banquette table like it was some extraordinary creation of god, my body frozen in place. There was a spotlight on me, making me a spectacle for all to see. I hardly touched my dinner, only eating after Tohru-Chan expressed her concern. I got a few suspicious glances from both Hatori and Haru after that but passed it off to them both, in my typical sun shine voice, as a mild cold being the cause for my non existent appetite.

The evening rolled on.

Kyo and Yuki broke there own personal record and didn't get into an argument until _after _dinner, Ayame and Shigure only exchanged half a dozen suggestive remarks to one another instead of a full carton- and Akito laughed, for the first time since I had known her. Her hair was growing out steadily, making her face look more and more feminine every time I saw her. Tohru had developed a near to fetish about braiding Akito's hair, and soon had it contorted into a lovely little braid before the night let out. I was happy for her. I was happy for everyone. I was happy they didn't have to feel the way I felt.

"They make a cute couple, don't you think?"

My head tilted up, eyes directed to the tall raven haired man beside me, smiling softly, truly happy. I fallowed the path his brown eyes laid for mine, falling on the conversing Ayame, Shigure and Akito. "Yep!" I replied happily, never skipping a beat "Akito-san and Shigure-san are perfect together." They really were, they belonged together- Shigure is still the only one I know that was truly born to love Akito. My head slide around as Ritsu's koi chuckled, raising a confused eye brow at his laughter. "Ritsu tells me Akito was presented as a man to all of you until recently. Would you still think it 'perfect' should she be a man?" Surprised, I blinked- once, twice three times over. "What dose gender have to do with love?" I replied, smiling up at the man who had been introduced to us as Tsukasa Orochi. He beamed at me, patting me on the head before turning his attentions to Ritsu, leaving me to ponder my own words.

What dose gender have to do with love? If the connection is there, do you ignore those feelings if they are for someone the same sex as you? I had no idea how much Tsukasa-sans words would effect me in the future, I had no idea then, sitting there with my family that night- how my life was changing. I had no idea…and sometimes, on days like today…

I wish I still didn't.


End file.
